MODERN CAKES ARE COMPLICATED

Whatever happened to old fashioned two -layered cakes that just sat on the plate,loaded with gobs of frosting and did nothing but hide a multitude of sins?

Baking used to be a simple art and any mom could pull off a masterpiece. Those days are gone forever. Baking is now a engineering feat. Only a combination of architect and construction whiz can whip up these modern day monsters,

The only reason kids attend birthday parties to start with is to check out the cake. A cake is a status symbol. Any mother who turns out a inactive cake becomes the neighborhood flop. All moms live in fear of getting dubbed with that honor.

Some mothers are non-creative. Its hard to bake something that can swim like Jaws,skate-board,or cheat at poker.

In other words, a cake you can eat. These modern day confections are hard to eat. They're far to active to eat. Plus they're doing such exciting things that you lose your appetite.

You can't blame the kids. The whole scenario makes sense. How can you expect your kid to be happy with a cake, a couple of candles and a few flowers when the one across the street can tell jokes and jump off Hoover Dam ?

I feel like I'm the only one that takes these cakes seriously. I think its a conspiracy. They are ruining our youth. I think kids are better off watching TV the looking at a cake. In one afternoon I saw the Iraq war, two earth quakes and a tsunami all acted out on the top of a sheet cake.

If that isn't enough the thought of baking a cake has been bad for my health, I spend the whole night before crying and grinding my teeth. The next morning starts out with a migraine from trying to decide which extravaganza I'm going to try and stage on the top of a cake.

I've had it! I'm not going to be shoved around by a cake. Tomorrow is my husband's birthday. I'll fight this tide and whip up a cake that will make him proud of me. I did that okay but that cake almost destroyed our marriage. You see I had this recipe for a cute little number that came out looking like a cross between Sarah Palin and Lady Gaga. Can't tell you more.... just use your imagination.