BANKRUPTED BY THE TOOTH FAIRY

How can you get bankrupted by the tooth fairy? Easy when you have four children all eager to take part in this money making scheme.

It all starts out quite innocently. The oldest child looses a tooth. Mom tells him about that magical little creature that flies from house to house leaving money in place of teeth. That tooth fairy fable soon becomes a big mistake. Someone is always loosing a tooth! Front teeth extractions are always planned for a special occasions,like the day before I have a photographer coming to take a smile photo. Back teeth come out anytine, usually the day after you pay the dentist to do a pin point filling. Thats a double whammy. The dentist gets paid, the child gets a gift for good behavior and money under his pillow to boot!

Moms go through torture for that flying demon. They sneak into their children's rooms at all hours of the night, crawling on hands and knees. They reach under pillows trying to pry open a closed fist hanging on to a tooth for dear life. He'd better because if he loosens his grip for one second one of his light fingered siblings is likely to lift the tooth to reap the financial gain. Around three a.m. Mom usually completes that mission impossible, with a few minor scrapes, a headache, a stubbed toe and a lighter wallet.

At times the fairy forgets. Oh how Moms lie to cover up. Some of my favorite lies include, "She must have fractured her wing in someone elses messy room", or else,"She called and said she had to cancel due to the Bubonic plague".

My kids were not above cheating to increast their bankrolls. My eldest left the dolls toothless, the middle one tried to leave the cat gumming her cat food to death. The youngest was the most devious. We had to post a guard at the bathroom when he learned that his grandmother's teeth came out at night.

Well tonight I'll make another suicide rum. Another fist is clenched under the pillow but I've reached the bottom. I'v refinanced the house and drained the 401K. The kids will no longer accept my IOU's. Hey kids I'm bankrupt will a stack of lottery tickets do?