HOW TO HANDLE SCHOOL BUS DRIVERS

Come Fall many parents are faced with the problem of dealing with a irate bus driver determined to report their darling to the principal for misbehavior on the bus.
If you’re one of those parents its important to realize that bus drivers are very difficult to deal with. That’s because they are in a fragile mental state. Its not easy to flirt with
danger and abuse on a daily basis just to drive your little darlings to school.
The only predictable thing about a bus driver is that they will always report a kid to the principal on Friday. That’s the sadistic side of them coming out. They want your little darling to worry all weekend while they try to get up the courage to make the Monday morning bus run.
You need to know the ropes as far as bus drivers are concerned. The quiet ones usually get reported the first week. I always tried to be objective and get the facts. I started out this way; “Okay, little darling , what did that MEAN old bus driver do to you this time?” The conversation usually goes like this:
“ I didn’t do a thing mom, weird people dry buses, I was only trying to play blind mans bluff with him. I didn’t think he would have a problem driving the bus standing up, so I just took the seat out from underneath him to give it to some girl”.
At that point guilt doesn’t matter. What’s wrong with that bus company anyway? Can’t they just hire people that have manners and a sense of humor?
Meanwhile I have all weekend to plan my strategy . Monday I’m all set. My battle attire consists of pajamas and a whiffle ball bat.
The beleaguered bus takes the corner. For the life of me I can’t understand what that driver has to complain about. Its only the older kids that are dancing on the top of the bus, the noise is kept to a roar, only a few kids are beating each other with the seat belts, and the rest of the little angels are either playing handball with tomatoes or paintballing the windows black.
. My little darling warns me; “ Look at him mom, that’s the phony smile he puts on when mothers come to meet him at the bus stop.”
Anyway, he has nothing to fear from me I’m only calling him in for questioning this time. The door flies open and he comes flying off the bus - not under his own power but mine. Before he knows it my bat has him pinned up against the side of the bus.
“ You aren’t going to report my son to the principal are you ? He’s only in the first grade. First graders are to young to do anything bad on the bus, aren’t they?’
The bus driver starts to cry.” Its not just the first graders the kindergarten kids are even worse. I have a hard time boarding the bus. They have painted the stairs with crazy glue and put molasses all over my seat. I can’t concentrate on driving when they are boarding up the windows and slamming each others heads in their lunch boxes. The only nice thing they ever did was offer me a cyanide sandwich.”
“Okay lady,” he says weakly. “ I won’t report your little darling this time” The kids cheer as they know another bus driver went down to defeat. I somehow felt sorry for the guy but that’s how I handle a bus driver at least until a better way comes along. I’m a pacifist at heart so to all bus drivers- GOOD LUCK with all those little darlings!